


It was always meant to be, just you and me.

by Inlimerencefor_VR_AD



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: Anthony is kind of an idiot, F/M, Fluff, I included mentions to the Bridgerton prequel as well, Kate Sheffield is an angel, Light Angst, Simon knoooows, The other family members are mentioned but this is mostly just Anthony agonising over his wife, Trying to not fall in love with her while absolutely falling in love with her, but we love him anyway, couldn't help myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29089434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inlimerencefor_VR_AD/pseuds/Inlimerencefor_VR_AD
Summary: "He was drawn to her like the Earth was drawn to the sun, constantly basking in her warmth, for however long his fate would allow him"The various thoughts and feelings of Anthony in the early days of his marriage to Kate.
Relationships: Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sheffield
Comments: 24
Kudos: 181





	It was always meant to be, just you and me.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time actually posting something so please be kind! I love this ship so much, and can't wait for the new season to start. English isn't my first language, so please keep that in mind. Leave comments if you like it! Enjoy reading

The thing about being married to Kate Sheffield was that it was nothing like Anthony had imagined, and yet exactly as he had imagined. Anthony had known from the very moment that he realised what the sparks between them felt like that it would be very dangerous to get involved with Kate Sheffield. 

Anthony could fall so easily for Kate. So easily. If he was not sure about his sense of self-control, he would have been concerned that he had already fallen for her. But Anthony did have enough faith in his self-control to know that this was not the case. He _may_ hold affection for her, but that was understandable. Both of them had already been on their way to a friendship, a strange one, but a friendship nonetheless even before that godforsaken day in the garden.

Mind you, Anthony would never refer to that day in such a blasphemous way in front of his viscountess, he did not wish to make her think that he regretted what his life had become. And in his own opinion, this was the cruellest irony of them all. He should regret it. He’d been married to the woman he did not want to at any cost, all because of a bee. The same woman who made him worry that Anthony might fall prey to the desire of wanting a normal life, and end up falling for her as a result. But Anthony knew that he was not allowed the privilege of a normal life. He would only get a handful of years with his wife, and even fewer with any future children they may have. He knew this with as much surety as he had known that his father had finally gone when for the first time he had heard someone referring to him as the Viscount Bridgerton. 

He would never get to see his children get old, might not even get to send them all to school in front of his own eyes. Some of his future children might not even remember him in the future. Anthony would end up being nothing more than a pale reminder of a life long gone in his children’ s lives the same way his own father had become in his youngest children’s lives. 

But perhaps worse was that he would never get to see Kate get old. He would never know how she aged, if whether a decade would be enough for her to improve her terrible flute skills (not that he would ever tell her that her skill was terrible, he was capable of being a considerate husband, if not a loving one). He wouldn’t get to see Kate flourish as a mother and a Viscountess. He knew that she would never get the opportunity to flourish as a wife because of him. 

But that wasn’t necessarily true, thought Anthony with a pained grimace on his face. Widows got remarried all the time, and surely the ton wouldn’t remain blind to Kate’s beauty and kindness more than a decade down the line. He felt a frown form on his face as he considered the possibility, “I suppose I should have to come back and haunt the ton if they continue to believe that my wife isn’t one of the best people here”

“Haunt the ton? Bridgerton are you quite alright?” Anthony startled as he looked up from his thoughts to find Simon looking at him with a face of utmost befuddlement. He felt a flush rise as he realised he had accidentally uttered those words aloud. He paused for a moment, attempting to get his wits around him as he awkwardly cleared his throat and tried to think of an answer that wouldn’t make him sound like a future patient of Bedlam, “Yes, quite alright. I was simply thinking that I might resort to haunting the ton if my wife and I have to continue playing host or esteemed guests for every curious person here” Anthony continued with a confidence he didn’t really feel but he hoped he was doing a good job of pretending that he had, “ I’ve never been the most social person, and Kate hates being the centre of attention,” He ignored the slight smirk which appeared on Simon’s face at the mention of Kate, “It will soon lead to our utter exhaustion I’m afraid, and you know how I get when I’m exhausted”

“Yes, I do know” Simon responded, continuing to eye Anthony as if he was a very interesting specimen, “I just hadn’t expected that to be the issue you spent the past hour thinking about, all the while ignoring my presence at that.” Before Anthony could respond, Simon continued with a strange glint in his eye, “But I suppose now that your Viscountess is involved, you would spend copious amounts of time attempting to make sure that she isn’t troubled”

Anthony simply rolled his eyes and took a sip from his whisky, refusing to acknowledge his brother in law’s comments, more annoyed because he knew that if Simon found out that Anthony had all but forgotten his presence, as well as the fact that he was at the club, all due to thoughts of his wife, he would go about telling the entire Bridgerton brood, probably as far as his Rokesby cousins, that the Viscount had fallen in love quite ardently. And that was not a possibility that Anthony could consider. He shuddered at the thought of Kate hearing such a rumour. It was one thing for Lady Whistledown and the rest of the ton to think and tell Kate about their perfect love match, it was another for his family to get involved. 

He shuddered to think what might happen if Kate started developing feelings for him, it was the last thing he wanted. She would have to suffer enough due to his untimely death, she didn’t need to add a broken heart on top of that. Anthony had been unfortunate enough to see what a broken heart can do to people, and he refused to cause the Kate the same grief that he had witnessed in his mother in the many years since his father had passed. 

He returned to the thought of Kate remarrying after him, and couldn’t stop the frown that took over his face at the mere idea of it. He rubbed his temple in great frustration, pretending to have some pain so that Simon did not start his random questioning again, and pondered over the idea. Would it be so bad? For Kate to remarry? She would be widowed young due to him, surely she deserved to find happiness even after him. 

While Anthony truly wished for Kate to find happiness, the mere idea of her in somebody else’s arms, loving them, caring for them, bickering with them, all of it made him want to throw up. He pushed away from the idea that he might be jealous and decided to go with his gut feeling that he was simply feeling possessive over his wife. Which he is allowed to be, he certainly wasn’t dead yet. Why should he have to stomach the idea of his wife in somebody else’s arms already?

Anthony shook his head as if to throw away all of his ponderings and gulped back the last of his whisky, standing up as he did so. The club was fairly empty at this time since it was quite close to Lady Bennet’s ball, a ball only the cold-hearted would miss, considering how kind the old Dowager was. He glanced down towards Simon who for some reason was still smirking at him as if he knew something that Anthony did not. Simon had apparently gained the ability to read thoughts and began speaking the moment Anthony’s thoughts ended, a fact which would have made him amused at any other time if not for what came out of Simon’s mouth, “You seem to be in quite the hurry to return to your wife Lord Bridgerton, do send her my regards.”And before Anthony could even muster a response, Simon had walked off with a sarcastic bow, presumably to dote on his own wife. 

And it was that comparison which gave Anthony pause. Because Simon was not wrong, he had gotten up, not to make preparations for the ball, which considering his position, he was not required to attend until later on in the night, but rather to attend to his wife. Because he knew that Kate continued to get nervous about being in the centre of attention for the ton. She may be ferocious and bold, but she had only been Viscountess for a few weeks, and while he believed she was doing an amazing job, Kate didn’t seem to agree with him. It was the most nervous he had seen her in any situation, not including their wedding night and the times when a thunderstorm passes, and he hated it. He hated seeing her so nervous when she should always be glowing with happiness if he had any say in it. He had been planning to rush back home to ease any concerns that she might have, knowing that he remained the person she went to with these concerns most often, showing him an insecure side that no one else had seen. 

It filled him with a kind of possessive glee, and just like in the library that night, it brought him great joy to be the one who would ease her fears. And Anthony would have justified this, he cared for Kate, he did not wish to see her anxious, in fact, it was what a decent husband would do. All would be fine, had he not had the sudden realisation as he saw Simon leave that it was also what Simon did for his wife. Anthony might not know whether Daphne had fears and grew anxious over situations like these, but he knew that whatever issues she did have, were eased by Simon’s presence. A fact that due to his long friendship and being able to read Simon quite well, Anthony knew that he liked. 

Anthony..had been behaving like Simon. Simon, famously in love with his wife. Simon, who sang his wife’s praises day and night, that Simon. Anthony had been thinking and feeling like that Simon for Kate. Which, would perhaps hint that Anthony was in love with Kate, had it been any other man in his place. But there wasn’t, and Anthony wasn’t in love with his wife. The similarity of behaviour must have been there simply because Anthony was a caring, not loving, husband. He simply cared for Kate, something which consisted of no harm considering he had to spend his last years on this Earth with her. 

Anthony gave himself a firm, decisive nod as if assuring himself that the discussion was over and took a last sweeping glance around the empty leather chairs scattered around the club, as they were illuminated slightly by the slight moonlight, before leaving for home. 

_ 

_Later on in the night, in Anthony and Kate’s room_

Anthony looked on in amusement at the sight of his wife who was currently surrounded by no less than three of her lady’s maids just to get her ready for the ball. He had already been ready for quite a while now, his valet having come and gone, leaving him with nothing to do apart from sitting on the ottoman next to the window in their room and admiring his wife as she went through the numerous convoluted steps of getting dressed. Anthony was aware that he did not have to wait for Kate, that he could simply do some other work or at least read something or gaze out of the window at the various sights of Mayfair, but he simply could not take his eyes away from his fascinating wife. He knew from the expression of annoyance on her face that she was not enjoying the process and felt a slight tinge of sympathy for her plight. Her beautiful face should never be marred with any upset feelings if he had any say in the matter. 

But sadly, not even his considerable influence could allow Kate to not have to dress up like all the other ladies of the ton. But as he continued to gaze upon her, ignoring the slight giggling coming from her attendants at the sight of an overly invested husband, he knew without a doubt that whether she was dressed up in a manner befitting the queen, or in her normal day dress, or even in her nightgown, there was no other woman who was quite as beautiful as Kate. 

Anthony knew that Kate was aware of his eyes on her due to the slight blush which had appeared on her face but he couldn’t stop himself from staring. She was a vision in green, the same shade she had worn on the night of the dinner at Aubrey Hall, an incident which seemed so far away now. He knew he should feel the urge to say something, compliment her beauty. And such a beauty she was, the flowy skirt of her dress, matched with long sleeves giving her the appearance of a forest nymph, with all the beauty to match. Her hair which he adored so much, twisted and pulled up into an elegant style which he had no possibility of understanding. The only thing that he understood was that he had told her that he preferred to see her without anything covering her gorgeous hair, something which she seemed to have acknowledged. The first time she had done so, merely a week or so after their wedding, he had felt his heart lurch and passed it off as him being stunned by her beauty.

Which while he undoubtedly was, was not the entire reason for his heart lurching. The idea that Kate knew he liked something and went out of her way to accommodate that made him feel extraordinarily happy. He tried to ignore the thought that she might have felt the same way when he started wearing his cravat in the style that she preferred. It was simply being a considerate husband, no feelings involved at all. 

However, as he continued his perusal of her getting ready, Anthony felt irritation rise within him. Her very beautiful hair also seemed unadorned in comparison to the rest of her. She was decked out in family jewellery and gifts, including what seemed to be his Aunt Billie’s emerald choker, which considering his Aunt, she was probably happy to gift it to a family member since she rarely wore such things herself. And while it gave him great joy to see her like this, the idea of her not being adorned with jewels immediately made him slightly agitated and restless. He may not understand why he felt this way, but he simply could not take it any longer. 

He cleared his throat slightly, coming out of his haze of admiration, and responded to Kate’s inquisitive eyebrow, “Do wait for me a bit darling, I have something very urgent to finish but you must not leave for the ball without me, I’ll be back as soon as possible.” He could read the curiosity and confusion in Kate’s face, understandable considering his rather abnormal behaviour, but she responded nonetheless, “Of course I’ll wait for you Anthony, but what is the urgent business?” He simply gave her his lopsided grin, something he knew she was partial towards, and said, “You’ll know soon enough, the moment I am back I promise. But for now,” Anthony stepped closer towards his wife, and ignoring the presence of her attendants, dropped a fond kiss to her forehead, the most he could do while surrounded by the people who worked in his home.

“Very well, but I do expect a response when you’re back” Kate allowed with a slightly flustered appearance, due to both her husband’s actions and the slight confusion over what he needed to do at 8 in the night. Anthony simply bowed towards her with a. “Lady Bridgerton” and left as if he was in a great hurry.

And Anthony was, he still had some pieces of the family jewellery that had been given to him by his mother at the time of his wedding. While he had been planning to wait and present the pieces to Kate in a far more romantic manner, he simply had to find something to suit her gorgeous locks, and luckily for him, he knew exactly what he wanted and where he had kept it. It might have been strange, while he was always careful about the family jewels, he doubted that he would have known about the existence about several of the pieces if it were not for Kate, who clearly deserved the world, a notion that was thankfully echoed by the members of his family. He let out a soft, “Aha, there you are” when he found the piece he was looking for and hurried back to his room. 

It must have been barely 15 minutes since he had gone, and in those minutes, it seemed as if his wife had become even more gorgeous, although he suspected that he thought so only because he hadn’t seen her in those 15 minutes and missed her more than ever. Not that he would admit it, but he was drawn to her like the Earth was drawn to the sun, constantly basking in her warmth, for however long his fate would allow him. 

“Now that you’re back, would you mind telling me where you went?”, Kate inquired as she peered at him with her gorgeous amber eyes filled with inquisitiveness,” You rarely have work come up so late in the night, I hope everything is alright?” Anthony had to forcibly remove himself from the thought of kissing her senseless and simply said, “You all may go now,” to the attendants still present in the room. They all left the room, and as he finally got the chance to look at his wife, who was gazing at him with continued confusion as Anthony seemed to break all known laws of his own married behaviour, he realised that he should give her attendants a raise. It was a difficult job, to make someone who’s already so pretty, appear even more gorgeous. “Anthony?” Kate asked yet again with slight concern in her voice, “ Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes, yes dearest wife” Anthony assured her, “I’d simply gone to retrieve something to show you, so I would appreciate if you could close your eyes for a moment”. He could see that she was still confused but did so nevertheless. He was also aware of the slight happiness present on her face, she may not like extravagant gifts, but he knew that she appreciated the idea. Anthony seemed to know quite a bit about his wife, but that was a concern for later. He first had to give her his gift. 

He removed the item from the box and moved closer to her, and as he leaned down to place it on her hair, he smelt the slight fragrance of lilies and soap which seemed to follow Kate everywhere she went. Unable to resist, he softly kissed the back of her neck, smiling a bit at the shudder that went down Kate’s body at his touch, and softly placed the tiara he had hunted down on her hair. “Exquisite”, he muttered. “Hmm? What’s exquisite Anthony, can I open my eyes now?” Kate asked with a hint of impatience in her voice, eager to see what Anthony had placed upon her head. 

Anthony chuckled slightly as leant down to whisper in her ear, “You are exquisite my dear. And yes, you can open your eyes now.” He knew she would try and argue with him, Kate was still uncomfortable while accepting compliments from him, but before she could say anything, she seemed to be struck dumb by the sight which greeted her in the mirror. The only thing she could say was, “Oh, Anthony, this is gorgeous” in a slightly watery tone, as she gazed upon her gift.

It was a stunning tiara, made of emeralds and diamonds set in gold, perfectly complementing her outfit and the other jewellery she was wearing. She touched it slightly, enamoured, before turning towards him and asking, “Where did you get this Anthony? I can hardly accept such an expensive gift.” He simply shook his head, knowing that this argument was going to come up. “It’s a family heirloom Kate, my grandmother used to wear it, and she had always wanted the future women of the family to wear it as well. Which considering that you are the Viscountess Bridgerton, includes you. This tiara is yours, like everything else I own. It’s hardly a gift”, he said as he pulled her hand to his mouth, and dropped a light kiss on the betrothal ring adorning her fingers, “You simply have to accept it darling”

He knew that Kate wanted to argue, but he also knew she would never do so knowing that his grandmother had wanted this for her future family. She simply took on a resigned expression, which he didn’t entirely believe, he knew how to recognise happiness in his own wife, she glowed like the entire sun was inside her, casting light and warmth everywhere she went, simply with the force of her smile. She turned the same smile towards him, “Thank you. It’s beautiful and I shall cherish it greatly” and with that she pulled him down for a kiss that seemed to be providing him with all the light that existed within her, making him feel lighter and happier in the face of her happiness as well. 

He leaned back after a while, not wanting to spoil her dress, and simply extended his arm towards her, “Well, Lady Bridgerton? Ready to leave the ton spellbound?” Kate simply laughed as she took his arm, “If you say so Lord Bridgerton, if you say so”

_ 

_At Lady Bennet’s ball_

Anthony, like always, was right. The Lord and Lady Bridgerton might be used to the whispers following them around ever since they got married in haste but in the recent days the ton’s whispers had taken on a different tone. The realisation in a lot of people’s eyes, that it wasn’t surprising that Kate Bridgerton was his wife. The late realisation that she was witty, kind, intelligent, and absolutely gorgeous, things that Anthony had always known, even when his wife used to aggravate him in the early days of their acquaintance. 

He can still remember the utter surety in her eyes that she would never get married, the insecurity when she had questioned him if he pictured someone else when he made love to her, the fury it had given rise to in him. Even now, when she had the backing of the Bridgerton name, and the entire ton realising their folly and attempting to make amends, he was still filled with the urge to snap at the idiots who took so long to realise what a gem his wife was. He hoped they regretted their decision because whether or not Kate ever forgave them, Anthony never would. He knew which members had been the cruellest in their surprise and their comments, and he hoped they continued to regret their decision. 

As he saw the awe in the other members of the ton at the sight of Kate’s beauty as she entered the ballroom, and the annoyance on Cressida and Basil’s faces, he knew they did, but not even that satisfaction could stop him from glaring at them as Kate was swept up in a hug by Violet. He could hear Violet and Daphne gushing over how pretty Kate looked and could hear Eloise desperately wanting to talk to Kate about some or the other thing. Those tiny moments from the members of his family made him happier than one could imagine. Even if the marriage was brought about in fear of a scandal, it would do him no credit to pretend that she was not the one he wished to marry all along, and it made him ecstatic to hear and know that his family loved her as well. 

He sometimes wondered what his father would have thought about Kate, he liked to think that he would have adored her like all other members of his family do. Back when they had gotten suddenly engaged at Aubrey Hall, Kate had made the effort to go to his father’s grave and talk to him. Anthony didn’t know what she talked about, wouldn’t even have known that she had gone to visit if he hadn’t been told by one of their maids who had been acting as chaperone, upon inquiring where his then fiancee had disappeared to after lunch. The fact that she did so, clearly to gain no favour from him since she hadn’t even mentioned it, but simply because she wanted to talk to Anthony’s father made him feel happy in a way he had rarely been in years. 

Anthony was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even realise that he was still glaring at Cressida and Basil, didn’t even notice when Benedict came up to him until he shook him a bit. “Good god Anthony. Please do stop staring at the two of them as if you wish to commit murder”, Benedict whispered as he turned Anthony away to instead drag him to where their family had apparently moved, “Even if no one would feel particularly bad about them dying, one can hardly have the Viscount become an outlaw. I have no desire to take over your position, and I don’t think your wife would be pleased to be parted from you so soon.”. At his brother’s words, Anthony felt like choking, unable to believe just how close Benedict had come to the truth all the while thinking it was just a clever joke. 

“I don’t think your wife would be pleased to be parted from you so soon”, this statement was the crux of his entire problem. Kate would grow attached, just as he had to her, whether or not it was romantic would not matter. A partnership, even one based on friendship, would cause great pain when broken far earlier than it should have. Which meant that someday Anthony would cause Kate great pain by his death, even if she never loved him, and didn’t that make him uncomfortable? Even if that was exactly what he wanted. His feelings for Kate were so confusing that he hardly knew what to do. He could continue the way he had, being a caring and affectionate husband, making her happy for as long as he could, and causing her great pain in the future by his demise. 

Or he could distance himself, more than he had already done. He already spent most of the day away, what harm would a couple of extra hours do? He might not be able to make love to her as often as he would like, but wouldn’t that be worth it if it meant that she would face lesser pain in the future? But wouldn’t it hurt her now? Would he be able to take it, handle it, if he had to witness her being in pain and knowing that he was the cause of it?

As the announcement for the first waltz was given and he turned towards her, he realised, No. He looked at her as she searched the crowd, looked at how her face broke into a smile when she spotted him heading her way, looked at how much she glowed with happiness when he offered his hand to dance, knowing that despite not liking to dance, she liked the waltz, and she liked it with him. 

And he continued looking, throughout the entire night. At her smile as she talked to friends and family, at her laugh when she heard something particularly funny, at the sound of her banter with his brothers, and her, just Kate. 

Kate as she held his hand, Kate as she smiled up at him, Kate as she seemed to bloom from the positive attention all the while knowing she was safe in his arms, Kate and the look of adoration in her eyes as he asked her to one more dance than was proper, Kate, and Kate, and Kate. Just Kate. 

And he realised with a surety that had escaped him before, he might cause her pain in the future. But he was selfish enough to wish to only see her happy while he was with her. Even if it might make her future life better, Anthony did not think he could ever willingly cause her pain. He refused to do so. 

Later that night, long after the festivities were over, and when Kate was sleeping on his chest, her hair spread all about, just the way he liked to see her, a thought formed in his brain. Anthony Bridgerton wouldn’t realise the significance of the thought until years down the line, not until his own children were grown and he had outlived his fears, but he would pinpoint this night and this thought in the future. This thought as the beginning of everything, properly, without any ulterior motives. Probably the reason he was able to outlive his father in the first place.

The simple thought of, “I would do anything to make this woman happy for as long as I can live”, and with a kiss to her hair, Anthony Bridgerton held Kate Bridgerton in his arms and went to sleep, hoping for a bright future.


End file.
